I'm right here. You don't need to feel it to know. We can find another way ourselves.
They're all cop-outs. They're all bullshit. He knows it's not the same, he knows the value of that feeling. He knows that he could be right here and a million miles away as far as Nate can tell, because he'd been plenty convincing in that shower but the feeling Nate picked up gave him the ability to spot and call that bluff.
And it's hard to convince himself he'll suddenly somehow change his brain patterns, his personality, to not need that clear and unquestionable reassurance to ground the fifteen different versions of reality he's trying to mentally juggle at once.
Fuck.
He can't feel the walls closing up, he can only notice the subtle tone shift. It could be him already overthinking it. He licks his lips, then chews the bottom one for a second.
Ultimately, he winds up murmuring steady, calm but rusty: )
You fucking better be.
( And he tips his chin up to press their mouths together finally, the kiss chaste but lingering.
Like that somehow even remotely communicates where his head is. Damn it. )
no subject
I'm right here.
You don't need to feel it to know.
We can find another way ourselves.
They're all cop-outs. They're all bullshit. He knows it's not the same, he knows the value of that feeling. He knows that he could be right here and a million miles away as far as Nate can tell, because he'd been plenty convincing in that shower but the feeling Nate picked up gave him the ability to spot and call that bluff.
And it's hard to convince himself he'll suddenly somehow change his brain patterns, his personality, to not need that clear and unquestionable reassurance to ground the fifteen different versions of reality he's trying to mentally juggle at once.
Fuck.
He can't feel the walls closing up, he can only notice the subtle tone shift. It could be him already overthinking it. He licks his lips, then chews the bottom one for a second.
Ultimately, he winds up murmuring steady, calm but rusty: )
You fucking better be.
( And he tips his chin up to press their mouths together finally, the kiss chaste but lingering.
Like that somehow even remotely communicates where his head is. Damn it. )